The moment of self-reflection arrives when you’re told: “I just used the Rite-aid bathroom, it totally reminded me of you” and my personal favorite of: You’re definitely going to be that crazy old lady, that when the kids in your neighborhood lose their ball in your yard, nobody is going to get it”. Hm…

Another highlight of my week was during a phone call with my funniest friend Samantha. ” I’ll never forget when my mom approached me in 8th grades about blow jobs” ” You know I hear all the kids are doing that and I just want to make sure..EW! MOM! GROSS I WOULD NEVER …” Meanwhile, I had blown everybody I knew ”  MADE.MY.MORNING.

Let’s take it back to last Sunday shall we? NOW LAST WEEK-END was QUITE the experience, back to back nights of tremendous alcohol intake as well as hard-core after partying. All well worth it, but to say the least strenuous on the body! PULLED myself and my hangover out of bed and down to South Beverly Grill where I had ALREADY consumed  a Coke, a lemonade and  few sips of white wine before my BURGER arrived.  Post meal a leisurely afternoon was planned for, starting with a nice stroll to help with digestion. Now, this is where I should inform you of the loaned Tom Ford Glasses THAT HAVE BEEN OCCUPYING MY FACE FOR THE PAST THREE WEEKS.  A borrowed  item from dare I say my #boyfriend (?)  .  I definitely have been dealing with an increase of migraines, and figured the bigger fit of the menswear shades were the cause and would adjust them  from my face to on top of my head when need be. This day in particular was a different story. As the day went on my pounding migraine just seemed to get worse and worse. Medication ingested with NO RELIEF… it was as if all my shit talking karma had manifested over the temple of my right eye and did not let up. POUNDING AND CONSTANT COMPLAINING UNTIL THE SON OF A BITCH NEXT TO ME ASKS TO TRY THEM ON (4 HOURS LATER)…I hand them over only for him to coyly ask me “how my vision is doing?, those look really good on you” I for once, was actually pretty confused..”it’s fine what do you mean” ” I THINK THESE HAVE A PERSCRIPTON IN THE RIGHT EYE”…….

…..I’M SORRY? You think what exactly? Before you exit the passenger seat of this vehicle and walk your ass up Mullholland….WHO DOESN’T TELL SOMEBODY THIS? ” It honestly had slipped my mind” “It’s very light”.. I DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS IS SOMETHING THAT SLIPS SOMEBODY’S MIND. So this was the cause of my tremendous headache that did not dissipate until the next morning….. A FRESH PAIR IN THE PROPER SEX  CATEGORY IS THE LEAST HE WILL BE DOING TO MAKE UP FOR THIS  “MISHAP”.