It’s  5:51 on Thursday, April 18th.  (Posh spice turns 39 today) (Another Posh spice fun fact: I had a run in w with her last week, actually- false that would imply we said hello, which didn’t happen. She briefly got creeped out and made eye contact with me as I did  not stop staring at her. What she did do was sit at the table next to me at Madeo.  She had a green salad to start and steamed vegetables for her main, and then, then I was inspired.)

It’s been three days since returning home from the epic weekend that is known to us all as “Coachella”. First and foremost, I remember very few and far between details like the rest of you..but I was definitely a lot puffier on Sunday than on our arrival date of Thursday. And I have never been friendlier or more ready to dance with a stranger than on Saturday night, WHERE EVERYBODY WAS WELCOMED and a little scared to come any closer.

Since being home I have been a complete and utter mess. Snotting all over myself and repeatedly sneezing to where people are turning around to check what the fuck is happening behind them. I did have an overwhelming amount of mother/daughter time today as we ran all kinds of errands that included: NOT going to Barney’s and lunch. My personal highlight of the day was our pit stop at Earth bar for TWO wellness shots, in attempt to make myself feel somewhat up for my 24 hour vegas run tomorrow night- no, I have no idea why either. Not only does Susan not understand the meaning of a shot or the point of it needing to be taken all at once. This bitch casually takes a large sip of the cayenne pepper infused liquid, only to  come un DOWN very shortly there after. Once consumed a very loud and foreign ANNOUNCEMENT was made in that accent of hers-  that she is now “going to have hot flashes all day!” Which was when we needed to exit. The twink behind the register was very, very, confused. But she really did, like really. Like the whole way home was a menopausal mess telling me to just “wait” as if that is in any near future of mine.  I now plan on spending the rest of the evening in bed drinking more water than I would like and not moving a muscle.

Hopefully I will return from vegas with all vital organs intact. Wish me Lots of luck!